Dating is meant to be fun, with all the flirtation and sweet banter exchanged between two people. But there’s still some basic decorum expected when going through courtship. Not many would think twice to note when it’s appropriate to answer a call or how much personal information you should share with someone new. So we lay down ten basic rules of dating that everyone should know, to save yourself possible embarrassment and perhaps even score some brownie points with your partner.
#1: Don’t be tardy
For any kind of appointment or meet-up, punctuality is always an attractive quality. If this your first date, you should want to be on time even more, as it sets the mood for the rest of the date and makes a great first impression.
#2: Be clear
It’s your first few dates, and you shouldn’t even be touching the subject of a possible future together. It is, however, important that you lay down your intentions for dating from day one. Whether your intention is to make new friends, to have a casual fling or to start something serious, the other party needs to know so they won’t be misled.
#3: Avoid being mean/critical
Whether or not you two just met or you’ve known each other for a few months, it’s always a good idea not to say things out of sheer spite, especially if you both disagree. Hurtful words can never be taken back, and they cause undue resentment even if you never truly meant it.
#4: Make the effort
Be sincere in your actions. It’s never a bad thing to show your affection for the other person if that’s how you truly feel. It can be as small a gesture as taking the effort to dress up for a date to planning a surprise party. Taking the time and effort is what matters the most.
#5: Listen more than talk
We all want someone we can talk to heart-to-heart, and dating someone who’s constantly talking about themselves isn’t going to go down well. As much as you’d love to share your life with someone else, it’s just as important for you to listen as well. It isn’t only polite, but it shows sincerity, compassion and understanding.
#6: Avoid comparing
Just like how you didn’t appreciate it when your parents compared your academic progress to your friends’, your partner isn’t going to like you comparing them to your exes or other couples. Not only is it rude, but it will undermine the relationship you hope to build as you may come off seeming like you’ll never be happy.
#7: Skip the excuses
It may seem like white lies are acceptable when dating, but even those tiny bluffs will catch up to you soon enough. When you can’t make a date, just come clean and tell them why you’re unavailable. When you can’t attend an event that you said you’d attend with them, tell the truth. Of course, if it’s important to them, it’s best not to blow it off. And always make it up to them to show them that you’re sincerely apologetic.
#8: Apologise and forgive sincerely
This is very important because if you aren’t really sorry about your mistakes, you (or your partner) may harbour resentment over time. It may take time to honestly forgive someone you care about, especially if they made a rather huge mistake, but once you’re ready to say “I forgive you”, mean it and move on.
#9: Compliment when it’s due
Flirtation adds spice to any relationship, new or old. Paying a compliment forward not only boosts your partner’s self-confidence, but it brings the two of you closer as well. It also shows to the other party that you’ve taken notice of their actions and efforts, which is always a good sign of involvement on your part.
#10: Keep communicating
There’s no better way to strengthen the bond with your partner than to have the two of you constantly talk about your experiences. It could be as mundane as the day’s events or as exciting as a trip you took years ago. The most important thing is to talk everything out, good and bad. This will be especially useful if you’re just starting to get to know each other, as it’ll help you figure out if you’re a perfect fit.
Siti Zawani: Weddings/Relationships, Food and Fitness writer.